From the moment I became aware of embryo adoption I immersed myself in learning everything I possibly could about this way of growing our family. I began researching embryo adoption organizations, joined embryo adoption and donation Facebook groups, read articles from secular and Christian authors, ordered up my copy of “A Snowflake Named Hannah, Ethics, Faith and the First Adoption of a Frozen Embryo,” and I prayed.
I asked God to reveal His will for us in regards to embryo adoption; I asked Him to open my heart to hearing His answer, no matter what that answer might be; if this was His plan for us to adopt one of His children at the very earliest stage of their life, then I prayed He would extend His glorious hand and lead the way. I was ready to follow, whether it was to a dead end, or a new beginning…
When I first became aware of embryo adoption I was excited and trepidatious, hopeful, and pessimistic, inspired and overwhelmed. I recall one afternoon sitting in our back woods with Silas collecting pinecones; the sun was filtering through the trees in a warm heavenly way that created a stillness in time. Silas was dutifully counting his forest treasures, and I felt a peace overcome my spirit and a message delivered straight to my heart; we were to have another baby, and embryo adoption was to be His way of fulfilling that promise.
That evening I told my husband, Jeremy, of the revelation I had, and shared with him an article written by a pastor exploring the Christian perspective on embryo adoption. If you know my husband, you know he is passionate; he has an incredible heart – generous and selfless – and very strong convictions. He very succinctly, and with great finality, expressed that while embryo adoption was an absolutely miraculous phenomenon, it was not the path for him…
I was stunned; deflated, perhaps, is a better word. But if there is one thing I know wholeheartedly, it is God has the final say. I have also learned over the years that my prayers are more powerful than my words, and so I embraced what has become a healing mantra in my “Let go, and let God.
About a month later, we were camping along the coastal shores of Maine on a picturesque organic farm; it was a gorgeous week to be away refreshing ourselves individually and as a family. Silas had just turned two years old and grown into a new stage of life where exploring is his greatest adventure; we had brought two of our dogs, Sparrow and Frisco, along for the trip and all were enjoying the “Maine way of life.” The transition into fall is a marked change in New England, and it is a time that represents a season of letting go as the trees release their leaves, the grass stops reaching for the sun, the birds move on to a more welcoming home. I was doing my best to celebrate the present; to give thanks for our incredible son; to let go of “my plans” for the future.
On the third morning of our camping trip, Jeremy woke up declaring he had a dream! Ok, I thought, I had a dream, too, of cookie dough ice cream, and our garage refinished into a professional dog training space. The dogs were rustling and my attention was on getting them outside before they woke Silas.
“We adopted an embryo,” Jeremy said, “and it was a girl…” By the look on his face, this was a good dream! Little did I know this was a life altering dream, a dream that not only opened his heart to embryo adoption but answered my prayers. God was on the move in a mighty way.
From that day forward, Jeremy immersed himself in all things related to embyro adoption; he followed the same path I had taken a month earlier, learning about, talking about and praying about embyro adoption. Soon after, Jeremy was arranging a meeting with our Pastor who provided his biblical counsel and blessing for growing our family through embyro adoption.
Simultaneously, with a new spark of hope ignited in my soul, I began to explore the possibility of finding a family from whom to adopt embryos. I found a Christian Embyro Adoption group online, and within hours of joining, saw a post from a family that immediately quickened our spirits. Jeremy and I aligned in many ways with what this family was hoping to find in an adoptive home for their embryos; we took a couple of days to pray about the family, and our hopes for the connection, before reaching out to them. Things were moving very fast; it felt as though God was so quickly moving us out of the desert into the fruit lands, and it was all a lot to process. Could he possibly be uniting us with a family within days of starting the process, when other families wait years to match with a family donating embryos?
Isaiah 43:19 tells us, “Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
God surely had/has a plan, and He is the leading way…